Talking to children about medical conditions can be a challenging yet necessary task. When it comes to something as intricate as Crohn's disease, it often feels overwhelming. Inspired by the touching book, Twirl With Me, Mama! by Melissa Beardall, I recognized just how important it is to communicate openly with children about our health journeys.
As a parent of three—Lucy (9), Alice (7), and Guy (4)—I find myself navigating different conversations with each of my kids. Each child’s understanding varies significantly, and I work hard to meet them where they are while ensuring they feel safe and informed.
Understanding Your Child’s Perspective
Understanding how much your child can comprehend is crucial when discussing health issues.
Lucy, being the eldest, has seen me in the hospital and has grasped that sometimes “mommy gets sick.” She has noticed the physical changes I've experienced, such as weight loss, and the effects of my medications. I've made it a point to be open with her, encouraging her to ask any questions. Our discussions often include how I manage my symptoms, giving her both knowledge and comfort.
Alice, though just a couple of years younger, doesn’t fully understand what Crohn’s entails. She knows I deal with belly aches and frequent bathroom visits, yet she sees me as a hero who participates in all of our family activities. It’s vital for her to recognize my strength, which helps her focus on our shared experiences rather than my difficulties.
Guy, only 4 years old, provides a different set of challenges. He is curious, but his understanding of illness is limited. Recently, he asked, “Mommy, do you still have the Crohn's disease?” I keep my answers simple, telling him I am strong and will be okay. This approach reassures him without overwhelming him.
Tailoring Your Message
The words we choose when speaking to children can significantly impact their understanding.
For Lucy, she knows I am on Humira, and that I do an injection every two weeks. She is also aware that running and eating healthy is part of how I manage my symptoms. I explain how this all affects my body and reassure her that it’s a part of my journey, helping her manage any concerns she might have. I want her to feel empowered rather than burdened by worry.
With Alice, I focus on the positives. I tell her about the healthy choices I make to stay strong, like running several times a week and eating a clean diet. This encourages her to maintain an optimistic view.
For Guy, I keep it lighthearted. I emphasize that while I have a condition, I take medicine to help me feel better. I reassure him that I am doing what i need to stay strong and healthy. Instead, I reassure him that I am doing what I need to stay strong and healthy.
I choose NOT to let any of my children see me administer my Humira injection, believing that it might foster unnecessary fear. They're scared of their annual vaccinations, and I don't want them worrying every two weeks about me. This is a very personal choice though, and I respect those who feel differently.
Finding Balance
Striking the right balance between honesty and reassurance is crucial.
Providing too much information can lead to anxiety, while not enough might leave them confused. For instance, I share that I need to make dietary adjustments, framing it as part of my journey to wellness. Highlighting my achievements, like writing my first children's book, or running a marathon, reinforces a sense of hope and resilience.
Celebrating small victories together is vital. Whether it’s a good day or my consistent efforts in managing symptoms, recognizing these moments emphasizes strength rather than struggle. A simple family dinner to rejoice these milestones brings us closer together and maintains a positive outlook.
Navigating Health Conversations
Every family’s path to dealing with health issues is unique. The way I communicate with my children about Crohn's disease depends on their individual needs and understanding.
The essence of these conversations lies in empathy, openness, and reassurance. My goal is to nurture an environment where my kids feel safe discussing health—an area that can sometimes be intimidating for us all.
It’s perfectly fine if you don’t have all the answers. What genuinely matters is that you engage with your children thoughtfully, while safeguarding their innocence. This journey, filled with love and support, is one we can navigate together.
By allowing our children to understand health challenges on their terms, we equip them to grow up resilient, informed, and compassionate.
Children naturally live in the moment and they allow that moment to be what it is; magical and
beautiful in every way!